


Rommates

by meowmeow518



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Buffoonary, Dib/Zim-centric (Invader Zim), Eventual Romance, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Idk if theres gonna be sex yet but Zim is a bottom, Love, M/M, Oh my gosh they were rommates, Older Dib (Invader Zim), Other, Roommates, ZaDr, Zim is in love, dib is busy being tol, possible mothman in future but thats way off, squeedilycooch, top dib, zagina, zussy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:33:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21743803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowmeow518/pseuds/meowmeow518
Summary: Resisty won, now tallests are forcibly exiled to earth along with skoodge and Tak. All are sent to love under Zims roof. Zims in charge and honestly he’s a little distracted rn. Being hopelessly in love with Dib is exhausting. Will his fellow irkens help him? Or make it harder? Or just laugh? They’ll probably just laugh. Irkens are assholes.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 134





	1. Warden

“And why exactly is this my responsibility?” Zim threw his hands up at the tall Vortian resisty agent. Red and Purple stood behind the Vortian looking rather bored along with Tak who seemed fairly exhausted; and of course Skoodge who smiled despite the tension.

“You may have helped Lard Nar’s brother escape prison but you are also responsible for his capture.”The Vortian paused looking Zim up and down. “Lets just say you owe us one and keep it at that.” Zim huffed but did not bite back a response. “Good luck  _ Invader _ Zim.” The Vortian said haughtily. He then waved and turned on his heel, walking back towards the ship.

The ship left, the hanger closed and all that remained were four war criminals in exile and their new warden. 

Zim was quick to make arrangements to limit access to certain dangerous areas of the house along with a room for each occupant. He had grown used to having his house to himself, gir, minimoose, and sometimes Dib. He had a feeling his new occupants would come to blows if not given proper space. With that thought Zim brought his mind to Dib. 

Over the years and after some fairly extensive bonding, the two had gone from mortal enemies, to regular enemies, to not really enemies, they skipped being acquaintances since that was nearly impossible with their knowledge of each other and somehow now, they were inseparable friends.

Dib would no doubt be filled to the brim with questions on Zim’s new housemates. In some aspects Zim was excited for the attention. On the other hand teaching the former tallests and Skoodge earth culture along with having to deal with Tak’s smart mouth was going to be no easy task. Zim pondered on the idea of just locking them somewhere deep within his base.

* * *

Tak and skoodge were easy enough to deal with. Skoodge wasn’t much of a chaotic force and neither was Tak. On top of that Tak seemed exhausted and rather quiet. They had entered their new quarters without much resistance unlike their taller counterparts.

“I don’t understand you Zim, I thought you liked us, what happened?” Red stood crossing his arms, looking indignant.

“Yeah I thought you liked us!” Purple chimed in sipping on his newly acquired gas station slushie. Both of them had been non stop complaining about every aspect of their new bedroom. First the colors were all wrong, then the bed was too soft; then not soft enough. The two were much harder to deal with without zim’s rose colored lenses.

“I am not answering that; it would take me all night to explain what you two have done to me.” zim snapped. “Why don't you two make yourselves comfortable down  _ here _ and stay  _ away _ from me.” he paused. “Please.” Zim took a deep breath and tried to relax.

“Intruder located upstairs ...” Zim snapped to attention at the computer’s bored declaration. “Oh, wait it’s just that human, nevermind.”

_ Dibs here.  _ Zim thought gleefully. He turned from his once loved ex-leaders and practically skipped towards the elevator.  _ Finally! Maybe we can go out to the IHOP and get away from these idiots! _

* * *

Dib was downright excited at the prospect of meeting more irkens and learning anything he could about space. Zim listened to his ex-nemesis sputter on asking questions and discussing his many theories on alien anatomy, politics, and whatever else the teen could come up with. In all honesty Zim could listen to Dib talk for hours, but it was starting to grate on his nerves that Zim himself was not the topic of conversation. 

“Yes, well perhaps you can take  _ them _ to this International house of cakes and ask them your silly questions.” Zim tried sounding bored and not annoyed. “Though ... they are war criminals responisble for the genocide of several planets and respective species, oh but what do I know?” Zim shoved another bit of his sugary abomination with waffle in it into his mouth.

Dib just laughed softly and decided to switch gears.

“So why did the resisty entrust the  _ mighty _ Zim with house arrest duty?” Dib looked thoughtful for a moment. “Planet arrest duty?” Zim perked up a bit at that.

“They simply recognized Zim’s greatness for what it is Dib-human.” Zim sipped his cocoa. “Zim helped free their Prisoner 777 and provided them much needed intel on the whereabouts of a certain energy consuming experiment.” Zim carefully dodged the fact that he was responsible for Prisoner 777’s capture in the first place. “Of course they would reward me with the high status position of Warden to their highest priority prisoners.” 

Though Dib knew all too well about Zim’s checkered past, Zim was also hopeful the Dib would be impressed with his good deeds. 

“Is that so?” Dib teased. “I can’t wait to hear more about it from the rest of the gang.” Dib was almost certain Zim was holding out on something. Not that it mattered. He was just proud that his alien was trying. 

Zim shuffled nervously in his seat but kept his mouth shut. He knew Dib wouldn’t be mad at him for his history but he also was so desperate for praise. Owning up to any of that felt like he would be owning up to all of it. Zim wasn’t ready yet.

“Either way, what's the plan for dealing with the tallers?” Dib said breaking the tension.

* * *

It had been nearly a week since the gang was put under Zim’s rule. Usually Zim might have gloated this new-found power over his prisoners but he was focused on far more important matters. That mainly being all matters relating to the Dib. 

The rest of the crew had fallen into a routine of sorts. Skoodge followed Tak’s lead and kept busy attending school. The two knew better than to stay idle for long. It was an unspoken understanding that the imprisonment had somehow also freed the ex-military irkens. They now had a chance at deciding what  _ they _ wanted to dedicate their lives to. However That was not an easy decision to make, so both Tak and Skoodge figured they might as well learn in the meantime.

Red and Purple had focused too much of their time into lazing about the house eating and watching human television. It wasn’t that reality tv was boring; it was more so that the two were getting antsy.

“So yeah, dad says if I can make the money to buy the camper he’ll buy it for me and let me keep the money.” The two shuffled into the house chatting away about their future aspirations. “I’m hoping to soup it up and see if I can conduct some investigations on my own.” 

Red and purple had taken a seat in the kitchen quietly munching on a bag of chips and began to watch their least favorite irken and his human. Zim’s eyes sparkled at Dib, antennae twitched forwards eager to take in any and smells, sounds, and vibrations coming from the teen. Upon further inspection a faint almost pink blush dazzled zim’s cheeks.

“Are you seeing this?” Red snickered to purple quietly.

“I’m right here.” Purple smirked, shoving more chips into his mouth. Dib glanced up from his good friend towards the two.

“What was that?” Dib asked. Zim looked irritated. Honestly he was mad that his Dib wasn’t looking at him for all of two seconds.

“Oh, we didn’t say anything.” Purple hummed, continuing to watch what the two were beginning to consider was better than television.

The two tallers watched Zim prance around Dib gazing at him with big Bambi eyes. Dib and Zim said their goodbyes and Dib left for work. Zim turned shooting the tallers a nasty look and began to head for his own quarters. The shorter irken was eager to get away from his former bullies.

“So Zim, admiring a human now huh?” Red drawled, continuing to shove snacks down his throat. Purple wore a shit-eating grin as he watched the situation unravel.

“So is that your new tallest?” Purple said grinning.

Zim choked on nothing and spun around to face him.

“I beg your pardon?” Zim nearly shouted. 

_ Pause for effect.  _ Red blinked slowly choosing to instead continue his snackadge and watch Zim make his poor attempt at defending himself.

“My- ugh I mean Red, I am certainly not, nor have I ever been- And some would say- How do I know now, that it's not you two- Anyways I have better things to do than- Augh.” Zim sputtered until he didn’t; choosing instead to end his defense with a huff and try to make for the elevator.

“Wow he's got it bad.” Purple said, slurping away at his slushie.


	2. Bored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tallests are bored, what havoc will they wreak?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some sleepy boys just falling asleep on each other as friends :)))

Tak and Skoodge returned from school over an hour later both holding their own chocolate croissant and a pink drink they had picked up from Starbucks. They had walked in on Red and Purple staring emotionless at the TV. 

“You know that's bad for you right?” Tak set her food down on the kitchen table and directed her attention to the idiots. “There is this human affliction you can catch if you laze about too much.” Tak paused, trying to remember the word. “I believe they call it deep-ression.”

Both Red and Purple made no move to respond, choosing instead to continue their dissociation and stare deeply into the screen.

“Yeah that's not creepy at all.” Skoodge moved towards the tv pausing for a moment to stare at the two’s glazed eyes before turning off the hypnotic device. “That's enough of that.”

Red and Purple both groaned but stayed attached to the couch as if their bodies were melded into the fabric. 

Tak huffed, “You two are not my responsibility however if I leave you to rot, I’m going to have to continue to hear your irritating noises and deal with your pathetic moping.” Tak walked over bringing two bluetooth-like hologram devices. “Just take these and get out of here.”

Whether they wanted to admit it or not, staying in Zim’s base all day everyday was screwing with their heads. So the two set up their disguises and went to explore the human world. 

The human world was dull. At least so far. The sidewalk was dead for the most part, aside from the human smeet who seemed to follow them around for awhile asking plenty of mundane questions. Something about seeing a spaceship fly away from zim’s house a couple nights ago.

Purple had snapped at the little thing and she had scurried off crying. Somehow on their journey they wound up at some snacking establishment. A dare-ee queen. Both red and purple sat wondering who this queen was, and why she hadn’t procured more dairy. 

They looked up from their snacks and across the way sat a small green human with a black wig. 

“There he is, the cause of all our problems.” Red squinted at the small irken from afar. Zim was seated near the counter watching something with great intensity. 

“You know… ” Purple stopped to grab another bite of his burger. “Now that we live here, it might not be that hard to get rid of him.” He took another swig of his shake. “Permanently.”

They both paused. It wasn’t a bad idea. If anything they could convince Tak to do the dirty work, she hated zim perhaps more than the two of them.

“Yeah but I’m also tired?” Red said, gesturing with a fry in hand. “I just don't have the energy for the fighting, and the scheming, and whatever else.” Red turned towards Purple. “And it's not like we have it all that bad, I mean we haven't run out of snacks.”

“I miss throwing shorties out the air-lock.” Purple looked wistfully at red. 

“Yeah, me too.” Red slumped and turned back towards Zim. The small irken had not so much as shifted his gaze. “What is he staring at?” Soon enough a certain, dark haired alien came into view wearing a bright blue hat and shirt as well as his trademark glasses. “Oh.” Red breathed a small laugh.

“I mean, the human has grown quite tall since we last saw him.” Purple stared at the young man tiredly working the register. 

“Now that I think about it… “ Red paused “They were enemies a couple months ago, weren’t they?” 

“Zim was our biggest fan a couple months ago.” Purple munched his fries. “Things change, I guess.”

* * *

“Should we just tell them we can see them?” Dib whispered to Zim as the shorter irken sipped on the rest of Dib’s after work shake.

“Hm.” Zim wasn’t interested in talking about the two idiots trailing behind them. Some might say it was both sad and hilarious how the two had not left Zim alone for three days after spending years trying to send him away. However Zim just thought it was irritating. Three days. Three work shifts zim had dealt with them staring at him and Dib, following them to Dib’s home and disappearing afterwards. Oh it was  _ so _ irritating.

“I get you don’t like them.” Zim shot him a look. “And for a good reason.” Dib quickly amended. “I was just thinking, they’re probably bored and it might be in your best interest to help them acclimate?” Dib paused looking at zim who still seemed grumpy.

“Hm.” Zim continued to sip Dib’s shake

“So, you got any ideas?” Dib smiled down at his former nemesis.

“Eh?”

Dib rolled his eyes realizing Zim wasn’t listening. 

“Zim, dude come on,” Dib stopped and turned towards the alien who was still not looking at him. “This is so you don’t have to deal with those two annoying you all day.” Dib looked up for a moment, thinking. “Lets get them a job! It’ll be perfect, I can round up some IDs and fake some birth certificates and boom! Out of your hair- I mean antenna.”

“Fine, it’s fine, zim will work with you then.” Zim still looked annoyed but as he glanced back at the two very conspicuous irkens he realized it was probably better to handle them now before they became a real problem.

* * *

A week had passed and the two had gotten many different jobs. For whatever reason they were always fairly quickly dismissed. In a last ditch effort Dib had convinced his own supervisor to give Zim’s older cousin, Red and his  _ boyfriend _ a chance.  _ Oh the mistakes _ .

Red had gotten food out fast and efficiently but one snide comment about purples performance had gotten both of them into a certain kind of altercation with their supervisor. At that point Dib had calmed his acne ridden boss and managed to get the two back on track. That was until Karen had arrived. It didn't take much to set Purple off and the three had been fired in a flash. 

Dib wasn’t too worried about losing his job, it wasn’t like he had a calling for dairy but Zim had been pissed. 

The two sat in the back of Zims modified voot. Zim hadn’t said much and the two tall irkens were feeling a bit strange. It wasn’t their fault Dib had gotten wrapped up in the fight between that old hag and Purple. But neither of them felt good about it.

“She-” Red was quickly cut off.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Zim spoke quietly, venom coating his words. “No snacks for two weeks.”

“That’s not!” Purple had piped up feeling indignant until Zim whipped around and shot him a glare that could freeze the sun.

The rest of the ride was fairly quiet which was good because Dib was exhausted. The two tallers were dropped off at the home base while zim took Dib out for some much needed food and rest.

“Oh.” Tak looked up from the couch both her and skoodge had claimed . “How was work?”

“Apparently we’ve been _ fired _ .” Red walked into the kitchen, only to notice that the cupboards weren’t opening. 

“Yeah sorry, Zim has the kitchen on lockdown for you two.” The computer's tired voice rang through the kitchen.

Purple was seated on a bean bag nearly dozing off. 

Tak snorted. “Not surprised; you two are nearly as bad at being human as Zim is at being irken.”

“Why don’t you two just do something you like?” Skoodge sat up turning to look at Red who stared at the cupboards with longing. “Sometimes humans just pick stuff to do everyday because it's fun, they call it a hobby.” Skoodge paused. “I think even Zim has some hobbies.”

Now all three irkens were looking at Skoodge.

“Like what, so Zim does stuff other than watch Dib make shakes?” Purple asked, pausing to think. “Hey computer what does Zim do for his hobbies?”

“Uhhh, he takes Gir out for walks I guess?” the Computer paused. “Oh He does have a bunch of earth vegetation on level nine.”

“Like plants?” Skoodge asked. 

“Yeah plants, He grew them from seed awhile ago, there’s a lot down there.”

All four irkens jumped up from their seats and headed towards the elevator.

“Wait, I don’t know if I should let you guys-”

Red sighed, “There is no way Zim has successfully grown anything; I just need to prove my own point.” 

“He is a beacon of destruction.” Tak said slowly. “I need to see this supposed  _ garden. _ ”

“Yeah but I don’t want him getting-” 

“Please?” Skoodge said rather sweetly.

“Yeah, whatever.”

* * *

Level nine had once been home to zims various weapons for destruction but now it had been converted into a kind of greenhouse. There was no sun to speak of but the roof was lined with warm lights that acted as a substitute. The entire floor was covered in vegetation. Various ferns and small trees lined the outskirts, there were pots of plants, beds of vegetables and even a few fruit. It was surprisingly pretty.

“Huh.” Purple scratched his head.

The four irkens were rather bewildered at the sights and the smells. It seemed like the room itself breathed. Wall to wall, it seemed like every plant in the room was thriving and healthy. The irkens slowly made their way through the isles of grown plants and into what seemed to be the baby plant section.

The irkens went their separate ways around the makeshift greenhouse, Tak was inspecting what looked like a workstation at the back corner. 

There was a large box filled with dark soil and a hose that hung over the side into the dirt. Next to that was a small zim sized table with various empty containers, scoopers and seed packets. Two small plants with large buds sat at the edge of the table. The irken moved closer, picking up the small plant. The bud split open, and she noticed rows of tiny teeth lining the inside of the bud.

“AAAA!” a screech that sounded eerily like a certain tall purple eyed irken rang throughout the room. Tak quickly set the baby plant down and ran out towards the sound and also towards the taller plants.

As tak rounded the corner she found what appeared to be Skoodge, Red and Purple fighting off some sort of flower with teeth. She ran over to the monster attempting to use her pak legs only to remember how the resisty had deactivated them. 

At the same time it appeared that skoodge had found a leftover weapon hidden in some bushy fern and immediately brought the giant sword down over the plants head, severing it and watching it drop lifelessly to the floor.

“Louis! No!” Zim screamed from behind, startling the other four trespassers. For a moment they stood silent as Zim ran over to the seemingly lifeless green vines. In a moments notice, the vines began to move once again, two buds were rapidly growing in place of the severed head. Neither of them looked very happy. 

Before any of the irkens could panic, Zim grabbed a bottle out of his pak and sprayed both heads of the plant. The flower began to snore and flopped over resting the heads on the concrete floor.

Zim whipped around and brought a clawed fingertip to his mouth signaling the others to keep a low voice. The tiny irken carefully put the spray bottle away and beckoned the others to follow him back towards the elevator.

* * *

Zim paced around the living room, waiting for Dib to arrive. It was easier to stay calm when he had backup. The four irkens had desecrated his glorious creations. Tak had managed to drop poor baby reynold and nearly kill the poor plant while skoodge and the others had knocked over several others. On top of that poor Louis was now Louis and Lenoard after having been beheaded. This had all been after his Dib had been fired for the sake of the two idiots taking up space in his home. To make a long story short, Zim was furious.

Dib opened the door and found four pouty irkens sitting side by side on the couch and one tinier irken tapping his foot. Zim looked pissed.

“Alright family meeting!” Dib walked into the living room after grabbing a chair from the kitchen. 

“We are  _ not _ a family” Zim snapped, arms crossed. He took a seat from the kitchen as well and placed it in front facing the rest of the aliens.

  
  
  


“Alright whatever, anyways we are having some problems we need to talk about.” Dib looked around the room at the other four who all managed to not make eye contact at the same time.

“Okay so what-”

“These  _ idiots  _ have beheaded Louis, dropped Reynold and made a complete mess of the rest of my plants!” Zim scoffed. “These four live in  _ my _ home, eat  _ my _ snacks and somehow manage to get  _ my  _ Dib fired!”

“Oh so the defect is talking down to us now?” Tak said, rolling her eyes.

“Is that it Tak I’m beneath you?” Zim seethed.

“It would seem you’re beneath everyone in this room.”

For a moment it seemed like Zim was ready to commit several homicides right then and there, until he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter what any of you think of me. If you want to stay alive you’re going to have to accept that this is my home, and you are under my protection.”

It was an odd choice of words.  _ Protection? _

Zim continued. “There is to be no more ruining of my things. Not my plants, not my home and not my human.” He paused. “However I have spoken with the Dib and we have secured better jobs for you two.” He said, gesturing to the ex-dictators on his couch. “And it is understandable that you two are still adjusting to this planet’s ways.” Zim looked at all of them for a moment, and then to Gir who sat playing in the corner. “We need to do our best to make this work, otherwise I’m going to have to send you back to the Resisty for a proper trial. And you know they aren’t going to be lenient.” Zim grimaced.

Before the Resisty had raided the control brains, they had been planning for a mass execution of all involved parties of Operation Impending Doom. Whatever information they had retrieved had changed the minds of the people in charge and the irkens were spared, aside from being under very close watch. The control brains had been switched off and ever since then every irken had been feeling just a bit different. Calmer.

“Whatever,” Zim said with a wave of his hand. “Just go to bed.”

“We aren’t tired.” Purple whined. 

“Then go to your rooms or something,  _ I’m _ tired.” Zim snapped. The irkens shuffled out feeling rather drained as well, despite Purple’s claims.

Both Zim and Dib sat quietly as they were finally left alone in the house. Zim felt like dozing off right there. Dib was much worse off. 

“If you leave them on their own to figure this out, they’re gonna drive you crazy.” Dib said, letting out a long sigh. 

Zim let out a long groan before speaking. “I know.” Zim said, huffing quietly.

“I’ll get them set up properly, I might be able to get them jobs at my Dad’s place.” Dib thought for a moment. “I know a couple maniacal scientists who would get along just fine with Purple.” Dib perked up. “Red could go to accounting.” Dib didn’t know much about the taller irkens aside from their past as Irk’s dictators. However most irkens seemed to have a knack for science.

“Fine, whatever.” Zim was ready to do anything not to have a repeat of today.

Dib and Zim hopped up from their spots, sliding the chairs back into the kitchen. Before settling down on the couch.

“You uh… need a ride right?” Zim took a deep breath before relaxing into the cushions.

“Hm?” Dib let his head fall back, staring at the ceiling. 

Zim could already feel himself drifting off. “Home. You need a ride home right?”

“Yeah, just let me rest my eyes for a moment.” Dib shut his eyes and breathed deep. Any moment energy would surely return to him and he would be up and on his way home.

* * *

Gir trotted happily into the living room, turning to see a human and an irken asleep on each other. The little robot tip-toed quietly, giggling to himself as he returned to the couch with a blanket he had snagged from the closet. He tossed it over the two carefully and trotted on into the backyard. He had squirrels he could play with until he got his turn on the couch.


End file.
